At What Age?

Deep reflection…deep connection

To my past…and as

Time progresses, and I keep…

Replaying things in my mind,

I keep repeating these questions..

At…what…age?

At what age do we submit and surrender?

And quit the comparisons

to others..

And give thanks for our blessings?

At what age..

Do we, finally give in and,

Be happy with what we have

From the place that we live in,

To the company we keep?

The people we love?

The clothes we have,

And all of the simple things…

Waking up from our sleep?

Having people you can trust,

That…look to you so they can…

Follow your lead?

Will you play the role of leader?

Knowing that the trust bestowed to you,

Means more than the responsibility you carry. 

At what age do we…

Say I have the right partner?

Give them everything you have,

Without reservation or harbor?

At what age do we,

Give up on our principles?

And decide to…

Focus on how we live life,

The way God has instructed you to?

To put full trust in him,

Relinquish control..

And set ourselves free from steering wheels that,

Don’t respond well to our direction? 

At what age, 

Do we decide to grow from old customs?

Realizing our childhood is only as relevant

As the lessons we learn?

Friendships that no longer serve us,

And, communication styles that represent

A part of us,

That belong to other chapters of life…

At what age do we,

Change the thought of settling,

To gratitude?

And receiving God’s grace,

In the fashion that,

Shows how much you appreciate 

Receiving when you don’t deserve it.

Everything here is borrowed,

Including time..

And age simply speaks to,

God’s permission to continue

And carry on the mission,

Not knowing what age you’d be called,

Back to his kingdom.

And at what age,

Do we accept that truth?

That you should be happy with all that God has given you?

And that because time is borrowed and,

He gives you permission to continue…

Doesn’t give you the right to be dissatisfied

With things that don’t belong to you,

In the first place?

Because there comes a time where

You reach an age, and realize that…

Joy comes from God.

And the disruption of joy 

Is simply the absence of him…

That age where you’re drawn back to him

And you see that all of the attachments that,

Kept you bound to fleshly comparisons and 

Social statuses and…

Things that don’t even matter and…

You grow to see that

Your age simply represents all of the minutes, hours and days that

You stepped away from,

Giving thanks for all God has given you.

And how you’ve taken things that,

You don’t deserve…

And complained about how it doesn’t fit for you,

Or your idea of what you thought life ought to be…

And accept things that you don’t deserve 

Knowing that any minute, 

God could be calling…

Back.

And that, is enough for me to say

I’m tired of old ways and,

Dreams that don’t belong to me…

Wasting time when, God knows that I 

Don’t deserve any of what belongs to me.

The titles, the materials, family, friends…

The air that we breathe nor the time that we spend.

At what age, do we say…

God I accept?

I’m happy with everything you give me,

And grateful for the time I have left.

And as I sit back, reflect, and continue to pray.

I feel like 36, for me, is that age. 

I surrender.