Truth at the Hudson

Soaking up the view of hills and trees. Temperature calls for a sweater. All I see is memories. Deep nostalgic feeling. A longing for familiarity. I guess with things changing around me, it’s only normal to feel that way. These flashing lights and sounds coming from traffic jams on the highway would typically cloud the mind. But my ears aren’t in tune. It’s the constant movement of NYC that makes me forget what’s going on around me. Sitting in silence gives my mind too much room to think. The noise is “normal.”

There’s something about the Hudson River that reminds me of afternoons after school – bringing me back to a simpler place. A place where, if I had to look back, I wouldn’t have imagined my life would’ve turned out the way it did so far. No clue, nor the slightest hint. Who knew that shy boy would be so inquisitive and analytical? That I’d grow to a man with thick skin but a tender heart? A protector (my own), to where I’d do remotely anything to guard myself from being internally destroyed? So many unanswered questions. So many obvious answers. With all of this noise, my thoughts are somewhat more clear.

Coming to the truth is a hard thing to do. Deep reflection has brought me to my truth. An understanding that I can say only age helped me acquire. Clustered emotions – disappointment, betrayal, enlightenment, empowerment; such a wide range. I’ve lived in the truth of others while fighting my own confrontations with my truth. It’s a “mixy” place to be. I need to protect myself in new ways. The only way to do that, for me, is to confront my truth and stop allowing myself to be disappointed with the way others have served me.

I need more time at the Hudson….

Where’s your favorite place to be when you want to clear your mind and focus?